Dating as a spiritual discipline

As a final nod to the spirit of the day, my mom referred me to this article about a different approach to dating. I'm not sure that I agree with it---either entirely or in part---but it's certainly not what I've heard during all those years of youth group, church camps and Christian college.

Here's a quote I found worthy of some contemplation:

If we never open ourselves to the possibility of love, we will never experience the transformation possible when it walks in, and sometimes out, of our lives.

A similar line from Kendall Payne's "Ups and Downs" keeps standing out to me:

To live and to love will always be dangerous, but it's better than playing it safe.

I think she's referring more to the love of God, but she also sings a lot on this album about human relationships. Now I'm also reminded of Sabrina Ward Harrison's Spilling Open. She writes about being afraid to do anything other than play it safe, but she knows that letting go of those fears will lead to much greater things.

I'm thankful to have stumbled across these honest artists---and all the honest artists I am blessed to call friends.

Comments

[Brian]

There is a fine line between "Above all else, guard your heart" and "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I suppose that's where the conviction from a personal relationship with your Creator comes in. =]

[Sarah]

I really liked the article you linked to. It seems so easy to get caught up in the future and miss the person standing in front of you. Thanks for the link!

[Adam]

April --- yah, I just read the article too...(yah, sometimes I link stuff that I don't read thoroughly). Anyway...I love that line you picked out. My favorite would have to be: Most important of all, if we allow it to, dating can encourage self-transcendence, asking of us that we forget the constant need to know the future, encouraging us instead to see another person as an end in themselves.
Thanks for the link - or rather, I guess, thank your mom.

[Lenore]

I was raised to believe that I should be with only one person and that marriage was the ultimate goal. After my first boyfriend hit me, I realized these are goals I could not share. I left him. I've since seen and talked with other women who do not leave in these situations, and it has affirmed my current belief.

I believe reach relationship has a reason which does not necessarily mean marriage. Each relationship is like a flower that teaches you lessons and grows with you. It's being on the path rather than worrying about where the path goes that matters the most.

Even if you take a few side paths to eventually get to the one you'll marry (I don't buy the concept of The One), this is not bad. It helps to make you more whole, more understanding, more of a growing into self along the way. And should you and your significant other then choose marriage and/or kids, the path that led you there over time probably will give you healthier goals that you share later.

Mostly, I like the correlation to nature. It has been how I've come to view relationships.