Hyphenation is not an option

To keep the maiden name or to take the husband's name? That is certainly a question.

I'm not sure why this whole discussion interests me as much as it does. But it does. Not that I have any plans of marrying any time soon (you can read more about that in a post of mine from last December), but the question is still interesting to consider.

I've previously posted about a reverse issue: men taking their wives' last names.

Now here's an article about the maiden name dilemma and its roots in feminism.

Hyphenation, in my opinion, only serves to further complicate the whole ordeal. One name is enough (and if there are to be children, one must think of their fate, honestly!).

Comments

[caro]

This is a topic that interests me as well. I used to think that woman who didn't take their husband's name or hyphenated were just plain weird. I used to look forward to taking on a new name. In the past year I've started to think more and more about this and really don't know what I think anymore. It all started when I became interested in a guy who had a last name I couldn't pronounce -- why would I want his name? Then, the more I thought about it the more I wondered why I would ever want to get rid of my name. I like my name the way it is. Plus, now that I'm a little older it has become a huge part of my identity. I've begun to establish myself with this name -- my degree was given to me with this name, etc etc. As I begin my career (or continue it I suppose) this is the name by which I am known. Why should I change it?

But if I don't change it, then what? It starts to get even more complicated when I think of children and hyphenation and so on so I almost don't want to think about it until I absolutely have to. That probably won't be for quite some time so I'm content to continue on as is until the day I have to confront the issue.

[Rus]

I just stumbled across your blog. My wife hyphenated her last name when we married. I wanted her to do it. Her sister died young and her mother also passed away when my wife was young, so it was just she and her dad for years and years. There were no boys and when she married, for her father, the family name was effectively over. We both thought she should keep her maiden name and integrate it with mine in honor of--and in memory of--her sister, her mother and her dad.

[Steve]

I married Belinda 7 years ago when we were both 23. The thought of her not taking my last name never occurred to either of us. Now, we both regret the fact that she did take my last name. I don't think we would have hyphenated, she would have kept her last name, and I mine. We still occasionally kick around her changing back, but that raises its own awkwardness. But I don't know what we would have done with kids, if we have kids.

[Elay]

My parents both kept their last names when they got married, and it's been both a blessing and a curse. First, us kids all have four names (altho I obviously often just use two of them). In school, I use two last names. Penn, which is my chosen last name from my mom, and then my dad's last name, which is my legal last name. Most of the time, it's not a problem to use the two last names, but I did get into a lot of tax trouble because of it. If you keep your last name, and your husband keeps his, make sure you're quite clear when filling out your children's social security. Apparently, in my SS, I had my mom's last name, and not my dad's (which has always been referred to as my legal last name). Therefore, last year, I had to go change my name and go thru a whole ordeal in order to have my taxes legal, since all my W2s listed used my dad's last name and not my mom's. Bundle of fun there. But at least I have the enjoyment of having a distinctive name.