Quirkyalones, pizza, anniversaries, wine and garlic

Wine and garlic

Tonight I made penne alfredo with chicken, mushrooms, zucchini, garlic, lemon, parmesan...basically, all good things. I've been wanting to cook more lately, possibly because during the week I usually don't have time, due to work plus classes plus homework. (You usually want something more when you can't have it. Leftovers for lunch and fried egg sandwiches for dinner can only last so long.) Probably watching Julie and Julia last weekend made that culinary desire a little stronger. So tonight after work (it's Saturday, right? working Saturdays confuses me), I got all the necessary supplies, put on my Etsy chile apron and put the Chardonnay in the freezer.

I haven't made this recipe for a few years. It was one of the first recipes I modified to make my own, back when I was still living with my parents. Tonight I realized I'm a much better cook than I used to be. I'm better at making adjustments during the cooking process, cooking things in the right order and, especially, cooking by nose. I add things without thinking. I don't think much while cooking, actually. I listen to my favorite music, sing along, and get lost in chopping, stirring and sauteing.

I browned the mushrooms in butter. Yes, fabulous butter. I added chicken, garlic and zucchini, then more butter and cream. I zested a lemon, then squeezed the juice into the bubbling creamy mixture. I lost a few seeds in the sauce. Oh well. I mixed butter, olive oil, black pepper, parmesan and basil in a bowl, then spooned it onto slices of French bread to warm in the oven. I sliced a garden tomato (thanks to my neighbor for a big bag of tomatoes he couldn't finish) to eat with my pasta, bread and wine.

By the time I finally eat, I'm often beyond the point of hunger. Somehow the end result isn't always the most essential part of the process.

Anniversaries and pizza

So I'm working backward from my title. So what.

Yesterday was Wes's and my four-year anniversary. Now, we've never been big on celebrating our anniversary, mostly because we couldn't figure out which day it was. Long story. But now that we know, we thought we might do something. Turns out, with work and everything else, we didn't plan anything out of the ordinary. So last night we had a Papa Murphy's pizza and beer. Played a couple of games of backgammon, talked about our weeks, called it a night. That's the best kind of celebration.

Quirkyalones

I've searched my blog archive more than once, and I can't believe I've never used the word "quirkyalone." Several years ago (during college? after?), I came across the term. Today I thought of it again, so I browsed the book we have at the library. It's amazing how perfectly it describes my personality. The website says: "Quirkyalones are people who enjoy being single (but are not opposed to being in a relationship) and prefer being single to dating for the sake of being in a relationship. It’s a mindset." It's also much more. Read more on the quirkyalone site if you're intrigued.

I'm thinking of this now, in light of four years of dating, not following the "normal" trajectory that most people seem to take for granted. I get frustrated when I feel the need to defend not yet being married or engaged, or explain our future plans. Perhaps I should buy multiple copies of the quirkyalone book and hand it to people who ask.

Is it so strange to be living separately, taking vacations alone or with our respective friends and family, doing many things separately? I was such a strange child, all my life, that I played alone for hours, read books, went on long bike rides and hid out in the tree house. My family always thought I was odd, and probably too private. But they let me be, mostly. I never dated. I never wanted to date. It was enough trying to understand my own life and emotions. Wes was the first person who understood that – because he's the same way.

This is not to say that I never feel lonely, or that I don't want marriage and children someday. But my ideas about the world have always been so internal, and probably unrealistic, that it takes some time adjusting to reality. Also, I like my space, my time, my big bed. It confounds me that some people aren't like me. Just as, I'm sure, I confound them.

Comments

[Leah]

To each their own :-) I miss sharing a bed, personally. But it's very true that we are all different people, and we're well advised to remember that. I am happy that you and Wes mesh so well.

[Mom]

Ya know, thinking about it, Dad may be a quirkyalone person who just happened to get married. Poor man.

[April]

Mom, quirkyalones can be OK in relationships, too. They don't have to always be alone. The other term is quirkytogether, which I also like.