The how-we-met prediction factor

Last week I bought a cheap DVD copy of When Harry Met Sally and finally got to see the extras. Apparently much of the dialogue and many of the characters' oddities were drawn straight from the lives of the director and writer (Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron, respectively). Some things are just too funny to be made up.

Anyway, the brief documentary on the making of the movie also discussed the use of the "how we met" stories as a backbone of the story. The filmmakers liked the way various couples would tell their stories. They originally used real couples, but that didn't work out well, so they used actors instead. The real couples took too long to tell the stories, but the scripted ones were nice and succinct. It was also very telling who did most of the talking, and what their body language was during the scene.

Coincidentally, last week I also read a review of a new book called For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage. I found the title interesting, as it compares marriage to science, which don't seem like particularly similar concepts.

I probably won't read the book, but the excerpt (scroll down in the review) is titled "The Story of How We Met." What I found most interesting was the description of the studies done in the early 1990s of married couples' "how we met" stories. The tone and phrasing of their stories could predict, with some accuracy, whether they would be divorced in the near future. And the longer a couple had been married, the higher their how-we-met prediction factor (my phrasing, not at all scientific). Basically, if the couple, either together or alone, described their first meeting, first date or first weeks/months together in a fun, romantic, nostalgic or otherwise pleasantly memorable way, they were likely to stay together.

This makes me want to interview random people about how they met their spouses or partners. It would be interesting, right?

Comments

[MOm]

Back in the late 70s, Dad and I took part in a stufy done by Pepper Schwartz, a UofW professor. She's studied marriage and couples are her life. We even filled out questionaires when we were in Germany. Social sciences have been trying to be accurate and data-driven for a long time. Oh, Bhutan is the only country that has a "happiness" index for their country. New book out called Plenitude. Any buzz?

[April]

Mom, have you read The Geography of Bliss? I seem to remember Bhutan's happiness index being mentioned in there. I haven't heard of Plenitude. I'll keep an eye out for it.

[mom]

No, but I will. I listened to an hour interview with the author about a year ago.
Have a wonderful weekend.

[Jess]

I met my partner/fiance on an online dating site, and we are always joking about how we should make up a more exciting/more respectable "how we met" story. Hmm...considering lying about how we met--I wonder if that is a bad sign! I guess as long as we lie about it in a fun, nostalgic, pleasant way, it'll be okay!